Текст песни: Cledus T. Judd. How Do You Milk a Cow.

Yeah, I was always the lazy one, a Southern Californian
But I've got some kinfolk on the Mason-Dixon line
So this summer just for fun, hopped in my DeLorean
And headed for my uncle's farm for a short time

I thought that I would be huntin' and fishin'
I misunderstood him somehow
So far there's nothin' but chores here to mention
I didn't mind feedin the sows

But how do you milk a cow?
How do you milk a cow?
I wasn't in FFA
This cow must think I'm crazy

Up under it this way
I'm sittin' here a pullin'
But there ain't nothin' comin' out
Oh, E I E I O, how do you milk a cow?

Yeah, I love it here in Tennessee but these farmers all make fun of me
Can't haul much hay in a tiny sports car
So I got myself a 4 wheel drive, learned to spotlight deer at night
And I've got shearin' sheep right down to an art

One thing's for sure, I hate shovelin' manure
It gets all over my overalls
Them horses need shoein', I hear Bessie mooin'
So I thought maybe I'd ask you all

How do you milk a cow?
How do you milk a cow?
I think it's safe to say
A man could get arrested for this in L.A.

This Heifer must be empty
'Cause she ain't puttin' out
Oh, E I E I O
Tell me, how do you milk a cow

{This song is absolutely an udder disaster
I hope I don't get mad cow diease}

How do you milk a cow?
I no longer care
I'm gettin sick
And tired of smellin' dairy air

I'm headin' back to Cali
And I'm turnin' in my plow
Oh, E I E I O, how do you milk a cow?