Текст песни: ICP (Insane Clown Posse). Mad Professor.

[Dialogue between Violent J and Couch Guy]

[Violent J]
I was never popular, this I'll admit, fuck school never liked me, Goo!
All the kids would always beat me, until I'm half-dead
Make fun of the size of my forehead
But that shit never bothered me, Mama and Mother
They had a lot of property
They had a science lab in the basement
And that's where my free ti...well, my time was spent
I made a mouse with a chicken head
It clucked three times: CLUCK, CLUCK, CLUCK!
And then it was dead
I made a lot of things though, like a frog with a turkey neck
gobblegobblegobble, it was the shit (yeah)
But I'm still lonely, I need a homie
So I collected limbs and made a zombie
I could've made a girlie friend
But fuck that, I got my girlie right here...yeah!

[Chorus]
You can call me Mad Professor
I will make a friend for me
You can call me Mad Professor
We will rule eternity

[Dialogue between Violent J and a bitch]

[Violent J]
I used so many body parts it was crazy
I killed a whole bunch of mother fuckers , like what, eighty?
They all chipped in on my special friend
Everything helps, Even if you got a finger to lend, come on
I hear the other children playing outside
"Keep it down you little bitches, I'll skin your fucking hides!"
?Stressful?, this part is wack
Some how I gots to attach this nut sack
Shit! Fuck! I'm sawing off an elbow
Looking at the meter I'm like ?Quasar and Ziphalo?
Or better yet look out the fucking window
I see a storms coming, almost time to roll
Screw the head on, come on, come on
It's the thuggish, ruggish, bone
Okay it's time, hit the switch, turn it up a hert
Fuck! Shit! Didn't work

[Chorus]

[Dialogue between Violent J and a wrecker serviceman]

It wasn't always easy (Hell no!) let me tell ya
But fuck that, cause I ain't no failure
I put the shit with the ?things? and this with that
Wait a minute...(brrrt) did you hear that?
It's alive! I just gotta wake it up
Hand me that ?rocky rye? pour it in a cup
It will do exactly...hold up, pause
I ain't cleaning his draws man, fuck that
Get him fat, get him ready, it's almost time
Paint his ugly face up almost like mine
I see him twitching, I'm on a roll
He can help me tell the whole world about the carnival
Turn the hertz all the way up for this shit
And just wait for that lightning bolt to hit
Did it work? You make the call
Shaggy? (What up, y'all!)

[Chorus 3X]