Текст песни: Liam Lynch. United States Of Whatever. Sir Track.

I named my pager, isn't that cute?
You should too
So what's your pagers name? I'm waiting

People give me a hard time 'cos I have a wooden ass
That's why there's only sandpaper in the bathroom
So just get over it okay

I got 3D vision and cable TV
I'm not a star, baby
I'm a trip, can you dig me?

I like coffee, I feel tired
I got a Dukes of Hazard tattoo
And it's not even on the frickin' TV anymore

My friend Doris says I should go to church more
So I told her, "Go to hell okay, just go to hell"
I'm simple but I'm complicated, it was Daddy's idea
To show Morse code on walkie talkies, we're rich now