Текст песни: MC Lars Horris. Internet Relationships (Are Not Real Relationships).

Internet relationships are not real
Your heart, people steal but identities conceal
So here?s a tale of warning for girls and boys
Laptop computers can be dangerous toys

In the chat room, I inspect
Who?s here tonight? ASL check
I?m 20/F from the UK
Send me an IM and I?ll make your day

I?m twenty-two and my name is Daryl
Nice to meet you, Daryl, my name is Carol
What do you like Carol? I like to go to shows
I collect comic books and vintage clothes

What do you like? I like to skate
I play rock guitar but I?m not that great
I like to go on dates and I like to stay up late
I live in San Francisco and hangin' on the Haight

Do you like the Golden Gate? I did when I was eight
Maybe I can come and visit? Maybe you should wait
See, I?m really forty-seven, I have kids and a wife
I weigh three hundred pounds and I hate my life

Are you serious? Yes, well, I?ve got a secret too
I?m not twenty, I?m really thirty-two
I only have one leg and I like to sniff glue
You lied to me, Carol
Well, you lied to me too

It?s not normal to have an Internet girlfriend
Online relationships are just pretend
Unplug your heart, upgrade your system
Get, get off the Internet

Bob went on MySpace for hours a day
Talking to girls from Moscow to L.A.
But people can surprise you from behind a screen
Listen to this verse and you?ll see what I mean

Hi, I?m Susie, I like your profile
I checked out your pics and I like your style
Sounds good, Susie, I?ll be your friend
We can write each other again and again

Comment on my pics and post on my page
Join my groups and guess my age
You must be eighteen, how could you not?
You can?t be in high school, you?re just too hot

Let me send you pics for your personal collection
I hope they inspire you and give you a smile
Susie sent Bob pics that were borderline obscene
Cops showed up at his door, she was only sixteen

It?s not normal to have an Internet girlfriend
Online relationships are just pretend
Unplug your heart, upgrade your system
Get, get off the Internet

If you don?t believe, us here?s a final story
About a boy named Marcus and his online girlfriend Lorie
Behind the monitor truth is hidden from your eyes
Marcus didn?t know but he was in for a surprise

We?ve been dating for a while but let?s cut to the chase
I don?t know what you look like and I wanna see your face
But what does it matter? You know who I am inside
What if you?re not a woman and this whole time you lied?

You got me there, I?m not really a female
I?m a guy who pretends to be a girl through email
So this is why it?s bad to meet women online
Living life behind the screen is a total waste of time

Check online relationships
Internet girl, Internet relationship
Fresh, [Incomprehensible] physician
[Incomprehensible] MC Lars
Fresh, fresh

It?s not normal to have an Internet girlfriend
Online relationships are just pretend
Unplug your heart, upgrade your system
Get, get off the Internet

It?s not normal to have an Internet girlfriend
Online relationships are just pretend
Unplug your heart, upgrade your system
Get, get off the Internet

Online relationships, online relationships
Online relationships, online relationships
Online relationships, online relationships
Online relationships, online relationships