Текст песни: Roger Miller. Big Harlan Taylor.

l once had a sweetheart, the fairest of maidens
She out shined all others that I'd known by far
I had a friend, big fella, name of Big Harlan Taylor
Harlan had a rubber-tired new shiny car

Oh, the ways of the world and the wants of a woman
If l figured them all out it would take many years

By the wants of a woman she fell for Big Harlan
I tried but in vain for to take my own life
Suddenly l had lost all my will to keep livin'
She'd lost her desire to become my young wife

Oh, the ways of the world and the wants of a woman
If l figured them all out it would take many years

Well, l wanted revenge and waylaid for Big Harlan
Then l started wondering what good would it do?
If a rubber-tired new shiny car's her ambition
Then I'll just let her have it and Big Harlan too

Oh, the ways of the world and the wants of a woman
If l figured them all out it would take many years

If l figured them all out it would take many years