Текст песни: Soundtrack Artists. Single.

[sammy]
no one tells you how you ought to live
no one glares when you do jello shooters
*all* jello
[sammy]
and no one says that youre insensitive
cuz their birthday meal took place at hooters
*oooooooo*
and no one tells you that your bald spots grown or that you ought to tone your flab
*tone your flab*
so pour a double gin
here's to your double chin

*all*
yes start the party
start at ten

[sammy]
cuz youre single
you are single
yeah youll keep staying single if your smart
*if you are smart*
yeah youre single
you are single
no chick will ever moonwalk on your heart
*moonwalk on your heart*
trust me..
this is when the good times really start!

[sammy]
no one minds the laundry on your floor

[bartender-ricky]
no one pouts with every chick you look at

[bum]
no one tries to clean your porno drawer

[sammy]
no one traps you with
*all* does my ass look fat

[george]
bust a move in womens underwear
while your flasking cher-a-wear
*cher-a-wear*

*all*
so fill your rangers cup
the toilet seat stays up
the fridge gets stocked with beer and spam

[sammy]
cuz youre single
you are *single*

[george]

not a care in the world can bother you
*can bother you*
you are singal
you are singal
you could do what youve always want to do
*always want to do*
no commitments cuz youre only passing through

{rap}

[bartender-ricky]
whoa making a date with cellini girl is a waste of my time and my gerrycurl

[sammy]
i dont need a girl who dont understand when i got a date with my left hand.

[bum]
well i like the ladies heavens knows, but in the words of niche bros before hoes

[george]
now i dont like a girl who would cry and bawl
in fact, i never liked girls at all

[robbie]
sammy, georgie, ricky, and bum, i'm starting to see where youre coming from

[robbie]
cuz i'm *single*
oh yeah *single*
i'll behave like a dudes meant to behave
*OoOoOoOoO meant to behave*
always single
ever single
single now and til i'm in my grave

*single til i am lying in my grave*

[robbie]
youre the best sammy...

[sammy]
though at times i might want someone to hold me tight
and promise me that everything will be alright

[bum]
everything will me ALLright

[sammy]
thanks man

[all]
i'll stay single til i'm rotting slowly in my lonely forgotten grave