Текст песни: Soundtrack Artists. Who Needs The Kwik- E- Mart?.

Apu: You see, whether igloo, hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic
dome, There's no structure I have been to, which I'd
rather call my home.

When I first arrived, you were all such jerks,
But now I've come to looooooove your quirks.

Maggie with her eyes so bright,
Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright,
Lisa can philosophise, Bart's adept at spinning lies,
Homer's a delightful fella, sorry 'bout the salmonella.
Homer: Heh heh, that's OK.

Apu: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Now here comes the tricky part.
Oh, won't you rhyme with me?

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Marge: Their floors are stick-E-Mart,
Lisa: They made Dad sick-E-Mart,
Bart: Let's hurl a brick-E-Mart,
Homer: The Kwik-E-Mart is real... D'oh!

OFF: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Apu: Not meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...[held for next three lines]
OFF: Forget the Kwik-E-Mart,
Goodbye to Kwik-E-Mart,
Who needs the Kwik-E-mart?
Apu: Not me.